Couples out there who are maybe considering adopting – but are worried about having to jump through hundreds of hoops or fill out mountains of paperwork, or think, ‘we can’t put a profile together’* – it’s not as tough as all that. Yes, there is some paperwork to be done initially (and lots of emotion wrapped up in there); but my wife Christelle and I found it all ‘do-able’. You just need to take it all one step at a time.
And yes, there are just a few hoops to jump through in terms of attending a programme of several sessions at PROCARE – one-on-one consultations and important assessment sessions – but we found these extremely helpful because the process helped not only PROCARE to decide whether we were ready for adoption, but for us both to also come to the point where we could say
a) Yes! We feel ready to adopt;
b) We feel fully informed and empowered about what to expect before, at and after the time of adoption; and
c) We feel we can trust in the process.
During the years leading up to our adoption application, we experienced the whole gamut of emotions that many couples will know well – ‘let’s start a family’; ‘why aren’t we falling pregnant?’; ‘let’s investigate the reasons’; ‘no clear diagnosis, but let’s try fertility treatments’ (these we did over and over again); and finally, ‘this isn’t working, we’re exhausted and sad – let’s move on’. In simple terms that’s what it was like, but the reality is devastating to come to terms with.
Enter PROCARE. I would say that in fact our own relationship as husband and wife deepened as a result of the whole adoption application process, as an additional (and crucial) benefit. We found ourselves ‘healing’, so to speak, after the years of disappointment and feeling stuck in a rut. Now we truly had a future we could look forward to again.
The team at PROCARE Wellington has been truly fantastic and we are especially grateful to Eloise Loots, who has not missed a single beat in informing us of everything we need to know, and guiding us towards the point of being fully ready to go ahead with adoption. Meeting and chatting with Sunette who deals with the mothers on the other side of the process, during our ‘final qualifying’ round, was the cherry on top; it helped us gain an even deeper understanding. From an administrative point of view, kind-hearted Santa Marais and Lindi Visagie have been so helpful and solid. Going to PROCARE Wellington, you always feel welcomed into a ‘happy place’.
Our family profile is now in – it was (in total) a week of spending the evenings writing and gathering photos and we really enjoyed it – and we are now officially ‘pregnant’. We are so excited for what is to come in 2014 and cannot recommend PROCARE highly enough for their years of experience, efficiency, clarity of communication, and their obvious care and sensitivity towards both prospective adoptive parents, and on the other side, the biological mothers they listen to and support.
These mothers, like us, have the opportunity to work through an intensive process with PROCARE, in order to ultimately reach a different decision in themselves and be at peace with it – the decision whether or not to give up their baby for adoption. We are glad the mothers are empowered to reach that decision in an unhurried and sensitive manner, via PROCARE. You will never adopt a baby via PROCARE and worry that maybe, your child’s biological mother was conflicted about her adoption decision. This is very reassuring to adoptive parents on the other side.
Because of PROCARE’s thoroughness in following a carefully adhered to process, the whole adoption experience becomes a wholly happy and positive one for all parties involved.
At the end of 2013, we did not have ‘any questions left unanswered’ – our sincere thanks to PROCARE Wellington and as we look to the future with great joy and excitement, we hope you all (at PROCARE nationally) have a relaxing, blessed and super well-deserved holiday break!
* An adoption profile is an autobiographical presentation/file that warmly and simply describes your lifestyle, interests, friends, values and family, as well as your thoughts about parenting and adoption. It incorporates photos to illustrate your words, and biological mothers on the other side of the adoption process look through such profiles to settle on the adoptive parents they would most like their baby to go to.