The thing about my boys is it doesn’t matter if they’re black or white…And they are. Let’s be honest. There is no hiding the fact. In fact they probably couldn’t be more different. In looks that is. One is a tall, skinny, white boy and the other; well he is a short, fat, smiley, black baby. And yes they are bothers and yes they are ours and before you ask, yes, he’s adopted.
We’ve been asked. And we’ve been looked at, and overly smiled at and blatantly stared at. And that’s ok. It took us a while to get our heads around the idea of adopting and so if you are taking a while and need to stare awkwardly too, then go ahead. We will all get used to it.
Our three-year-old notices colour. We were very proud parents when he started being able to tell us it was a red ball or yellow T-shirt. And now he tells us his brother is ”um, brown, hey Mom?” “Well, yes, I guess he is.” I say. “And I am…” and here he is lost for words. “What colour am I, Mom?” he asks. And here I am a little stuck and so we try white, cream, pinkish, yellowish, pale…None of these words is quite right, but he likes cream best today and so he continues. “God made William brown and me cream.” “Yes.” “And I have yellow straight hair and William has black curly hair.” “Yes.” “Maybe one day God will make William have straight yellow hair and I will have curly hair.” “Maybe”, I giggle, anything is possible.
It’s been nearly 5 months since William joined our family and we’ve been asked how we have adjusted; how have we transitioned? “What is it like?” people really want to know. Honestly, it just doesn’t seem like life was any other way. It’s busy, but then a three-year old is busy. It’s chaos at times, but then we had our moments beforehand too. It’s great some days and just hard others, but then I think most parents would agree. Would we do it differently? No.
And so the thing about my boys is it doesn’t matter if they are black or white…we love them, we worry about them, we try to do our best for them, we hug them, reprimand them, laugh with them, shout at them, bath them, feed them, throw them in the sky, play with them and talk to them. About colour, about adoption, about family and about what makes ours special, and a small part of that will always be the fact that they are black and white.