PROCARE Adoptions

A blog about adoption experiences

Biology Doesn’t Determine Love

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The desire was implanted in my heart at the tender age of ten. I knew that someone would give me their baby for me to take care of. My childish worry was, “But if the baby comes now, my mom will take care of it, and not me.” But it didn’t stop me wondering when it would happen.

Fast forward to my late teens and a marriage later. We decided we would have one biological child, and adopt a second. “Why adoption?” you may ask. Why not? The world is full of children needing families and love and we have LOTS of that so, why not?

And so after a hiccup or two, 2014 saw the plan come together-one extra biological child later. I contacted Procare and we started the process. By the middle of the screening, it happened. I fell in love with a nameless, faceless baby. All I knew was that it would be a girl. But it was enough. I fell and fell hard. I still don’t know how you can miss someone you’ve never met, but I certainly missed her a lot!

By the time Procare alerted us of a specific little girl, my husband was just as smitten. He wanted her home, and he wanted her NOW! We felt so protective of the little angel-an angel we had not formed together. An angel whose kicks I’d never felt. Whose elbows never jabbed my ribs. And that’s what made it worse for us. With pregnancy, the baby is with you. With adoption, she’s somewhere else and the ache is great. We wanted her in our safe keeping, where we could know without a shadow of a doubt that she was with us.

The day we brought our little sunshine home, our gift that we had been given by God (and Procare) she not only snuggled deep into our arms, she solidified her place in my heart. The fierce protectiveness, the strong love, the  earnest desire to always nurture and protect her served to show what we never doubted while travelling this road with two biological children -Biology doesn’t determine love, an open heart does. And our hearts were so open that there was space for a little baby girl. Thank you Procare, for showing us how amazing adoption is. It’s a love like no other.3. Biol doesnt determine love

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One thought on “Biology Doesn’t Determine Love

  1. What amazing words and as if it came out of my own aching heart as i miss my little girl that I have never seen or even know if she has been born. Thank you Thandi for putting it into words it makes me feel so much better knowing that I’m not alone in my longing and that it is totally natural to feel like this.

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