Can I raise another man’s child? This was the one question that was running through my mind from the first moment we decided to adopt. I am a man. I am a proud South African male and raising another man’s child was not in my plans as I made my way through life. How can I look in his eyes and say “You are my son”?
How do I face up to my friends and say “meet my son?” We are a crazy bunch. We are always taking the mickey out of each other with our abilities as males; the hunter, the provider, the stud. And here I am, struggling to have a child. I battled with these questions alone, as it is something that I had to come to grips with. And no matter how much I love my wife, women do not understand men and what makes us tick.Or is that true?
When we received the call that we have been chosen as parents, I had a smile wider than the Amazon. I almost had to pull over because I could not stop laughing. And then the questions returned. Am I ready to raise another man’s offspring? Am I ready? Am I ready?….
Those questions soon changed. When we picked up our son, we were asked “so who is going to take him first?”. My wife had no chance as I was out of my seat like Usain Bolt off the starting block. Looking into his eyes, tears were freely running from my own. And the questions changed. No longer was I asking if I am ready to raise another man’s child. Now I am asking “Can I be the best possible father to MY son?” How soon can I buy our season tickets to Newlands? Do I buy his Liverpool outfit now or will he outgrow it too quickly?
Any red blooded male will have doubts, because that is what we are. In the deepest recesses of our hearts, we have to be the alpha. And how can you be the alpha if you cannot have your own children? Wrong. Just because a child did not come from your blood does not make him or her somebody else’s. Any fool can make a child, but it takes a man to raise one. God has chosen me to be MY son’s father. He had a plan and I am to be his instrument.
When you are struggling to come to grips with the path you have been put on, it takes just one look into those big eyes and your doubts are erased. The only questions I have left, is “why did I wait this long to make this decision?” We did not only realize now that we would struggle to have children. We were blind to the fact that our Maker had another path in store for us. And now I realize that nothing happens without His commands. And the timing for our son was already planned long before we decided to adopt.
For anyone who is battling with whether to adopt I can only say this” when you look into YOUR child’s eyes, you will ask yourself “what was I worried about?” “Why should I care what others think?”
I have been chosen to fulfill the role of father to MY son, and it is a privilege that I thank the Lord for every day since he has come into our lives. Our home feels alive and warmer. He has brought so much joy into our lives and I live now to be not only the best husband I can be, but also the best father MY son could ever wish for.
If you are asking yourself “Should I adopt?” I only have one thing to say. YES, YES,YES.