Before Max, we were a family of 3 – My husband, our (then) 5 year old daughter and I.
We had always wanted a big family and after many fertility struggles over the last 3 years, we started discussing adoption. And once, we had made the decision that this was what we wanted to do, we wanted it to happen straight away!! We contacted Procare in October (we decided to go with procare because we were familiar with them following the adoption of my niece and nephew through procare). After our initial contact, I was a bit deflated to hear that childless couples were given preference and started to think that yet another door was closing on us. However, after some persistence from my side, we had our first appointment to meet with Eloise at the beginning of the year.
From then on, the process was seamless and, looking back now, actually quite quick!! (although, when in the throes of it, it feels like forever!). After all the checks, home visits, meetings, etc we had our final panel meeting scheduled for 24 June. As the date approached, it filled me with a deep sadness. I was excited about the appointment but couldn’t ignore the fact that throughout the process I always had the “next date” to look forward to, to hold onto – something to symbolise that we were on this journey and that there would be a baby for us at the end of it. I knew that after this appointment, we would have nothing and that all we would be able to do is wait…… so, it was bitter sweet for me.
But then the day arrived and in the middle of our session, our social worker asks us the question that would change our lives forever…. “How ready are you?” I remember us both looking at each other and saying “we are very ready, we are ready now”. We were told to go home and think about it, but there was really nothing to think about; and on the 5th of July, 11 days later – we got to bring our baby boy home.
The days leading up to placement were the most overwhelming days of my life. I remember feeling sick to my stomach and thinking of all the “what-ifs”…. What if he doesn’t like us….. what if we don’t have a connection or bond with him…. What if I can’t love him like I love my daughter…. What if my daughter has no bond with him…. What if we have made a mistake!!
But then, then I saw him!!!! And I knew, I knew instantly that all my fears were unnecessary…… this boy, this perfect, beautiful boy was ours and we loved him from the minute we saw him. Having a biological child and an adopted child, I can honestly say that the love is no different – they are both my kids who I would do and give up anything for – and though “how” they got to be my kids may be different, that really is the only difference.
Max has now been home for almost 3 months, but it feels as if he has always been a part of our lives. He is the sweetest little boy with the cutest little personality – a constant ball of laughter and energy. The bond between our 2 kids are already so evident and it makes my heart so happy.
Thank you Procare for making our dreams come true and thank you to our boys birth mom for trusting us – you will always be in our hearts.
Charne and family